full circle

I consider myself lucky to have been born into a "mixed family."  Mom was catholic, before she got knocked up by my jewish (sort of) father.  He decided to marry her to make an honest woman of her, but her concession was to force her faith underground.  I think she continued to believe in a big-G god, but she had to keep that very much to herself.  As for my father, I say he was sort of jewish, as he proclaimed atheism most of the time.  He only referred to his jewish cultural heritage when it was convenient for him.  For example, when he was fired, it was because his boss was anti-semitic (and of course had nothing to do with what a miserable pill he was, or his own gross incompetence.  Nope, anti-semitism!)

And that's pretty much how my brothers and I were raised.  Questions of actual faith were not discussed, and we were left to our own to cobble together whatever mishmash of spirituality we could come up with.  We celebrated secular versions of xian holidays (christmas tree, easter baskets, etc) because it was convenient, and sort of fun so long as we didn't ask any questions. 

As an adult, I dabbled with various modes of spirituality.  Not having been steeped in any one tradition, I found them all rather absurd.  The mythopoeic aspect of catholicism did nothing for me.  Eat of the flesh?  Drink of the blood?  That just grossed me out more than anything.  The virgin birth, the resurrection?  That seemed as remote and stupid to me as zeus sprining from his mother's head, or the other stories from greek and roman mythology.  Judiasm, with all the food rules and misogyny held no intrigue.  I gave Starhawk and the wiccans a good go, but holding hands on a moonlit evening and chanting to diana, queen of the moon, started feeling pretty idiotic pretty quickly, too.  So, back to square one, it appears.  I'm an athiest, except now that I've gotten there myself, I'm digging it.